Losing Feeling
by xAngel-Of-Nightx
Summary: "I hate it. This life. As vampires, it's in our nature to kill humans, to be superior, but… you can't feel what I feel. You can't feel the emotions being sucked out of their bodies as we feed like I can." Summary Inside AU OOC Rated T 'cause I'm weird


**Yeah, so... don't expect this to be particularly amazing. This was for a class assignment, and if you knew me, you'd know that came up with and wrote the entire thing the night before it was due. So... yeah. There are probably a few errors and I apologize in advance for them. It's hard to edit something that you. yourself wrote.**

**Disclaimer: I don't Twilight. Stephenie Meyer does. I can always dream of Jasper, though. :)**

**Summary: Jasper can't stand drinking human blood anymore, so his mate and him try something new. **

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><p>"Jasper, are you ok?" I asked.<p>

"I'm fine. Don't worry about me." I sighed, and looked out the window that set next to our bed. It didn't matter that he told me not to worry. I was, and there was no stopping it. I knew something was wrong, but I just couldn't tell _what_.

"Fine." I stood up and left him sitting on the bed, alone.

It didn't seem to matter that I'd known him my entire vampire existence or that we'd been married for twenty years. He refused to open up to me and there wasn't a thing I could do about it. I knew he could sense my feelings, considering he was an empath and all, but he acted as if nothing was wrong, as if it didn't matter... as if _I_ didn't matter.

He was a ghost, just floating around in space, barely doing the necessary things, such as hunting. I would always have to remind him when his beautiful red eyes would turn into a dull black.

Weeks passed, and his state only got worse. I was losing hope. We were in our room when I finally couldn't stand it anymore.

"Jasper! Look at me!" He refused, and continued to sit as still as a statue, staring at his hands.

Jasper! Jasper… look at your wife. Look at what you're doing to me…" I whispered the last part as I felt my eyes fill with tears that would never fall.

Jasper slowly lifted his head until our eyes met. I saw a shadow of emotion dance behind his dead eyes, but it quickly disappeared. I ran to him and wrapped my arms around his waist.

"Please tell me what's wrong! I know you can feel my emotions. Can't you feel my heart breaking?" I dry-sobbed.

"Bella… I…" He trailed off. I looked up at him, pleading to open up to me. "I… I can't handle this life!" He cried out. "These emotions… human emotions… they're eating at me." I looked at his broken expression as he let go of all the emotions he'd been holding in. Anger, fear, resentment, hate… it was horrible.

"I hate it. This life. As vampires, it's in our _nature_ to kill humans, to be superior, but… you can't _feel_ what I feel. You can't feel the emotions being sucked out of their bodies as we feed like I can. I would never wish that upon anyone."

"I'm so sorry." I whispered, hugging him tighter.

"I think I know what I should do." He said.

"What! Anything to help."

"I met this family after I left Maria and the wars. They didn't drink from human like we do. It's quite strange actually. They drink from animals." An unnecessary breath left my lips.

"Animals? What is it like? Drinking from them, I mean?"

"I wouldn't know. I never tried it. At the time, I was _so sure_ that this lifestyle was the perfect one for me, but now I'm not as sure."  
>I was about to say something when he cut me off. "I understand if you don't want to try it with me. Why would you? You're happy with your life now.<p>

He started to turn away, but I pulled him back. "No… I think I'd like to try it. You know I never really liked killing the humans. I only did it as a means of survival, but if there's another way, I'd like to try it." I looked at him, and felt hope course through my body. "Jasper, you're projecting." I said, laughing.

Oh, I'm sorry." He started to reign himself in, but I stopped him.

"No, I like it. I haven't felt this much in weeks."

~0~

The next day, we went hunting. It was amazing. We didn't have to lure in any innocent teenagers looking for a smoke, or flirt our way to our next meal. Instead we ran to the nearest forest and stalked a few small game and deer. Now, don't get me wrong, the taste was awful; slightly sour and a little unsatisfying, but over-all it did quench the thirst.

On the way back to our house, an idea struck me. "Why don't we move?"

"What? Move?" Jasper asked.

"Well, I mean, think about it. We have lived her for about ten years, and there aren't really any forests close by, not to mention we're too close to the humans. Until we can build up a better resistance, since we are going to be starving ourselves of them, we are going to need to be a little farther away from them, but not completely shut off from the world."

Jasper thought it over and finally decided that it would be the best choice. Now we just had to figure out where it was that we were going to be moving to.

"We should move to Washington." Jasper randomly said one day.

"Why Washington? That's a little far away from New York, don't you think?"

"Well, that's where I met that family I told you about, the Cullen's. I think maybe we should visit them, so I can show you how they live." He relied. "Oh, and because there are plenty of forests there, and since the sun rarely ever comes out, we would be about to go out all the time. When we are ready that is." He said, as an after-thought.

~0~

We had just finished our third animal hunting trip when I noticed Jasper's eyes. No longer were they the vibrant red that I was used to, but a melted caramel golden color. I ran to our bathroom, and peered into the mirror, my own eyes astonishing me as well. Who knew eyes could be such a beautiful color? I ran back to Jasper and caressed his face.

"Your eyes are wonderful. But how could you not tell me that our eyes would change colors because if our diets? It must have been very noticeable when you met the Cullen's. There is no way in could have escaped your sharp eye." I stated.

"I didn't realize you would have cared about such a thing, otherwise I would have informed you immediately. Please forgive me."

"Ah, but what is there to forgive?" I giggled, kissing his nose then running away with him trailing close behind me.

~0~

Jasper and I had finally picked out a house. We were located almost inside the Mt. Rainier National Park (wonder where that got _that_ name from), but we were still located closely to some cities such as Tacoma. It was a very quaint home that fit us to a T. It was simple, yet dazzling.

We entered, finding everything already neatly in its place. We both sat down on the couch in silence. Neither of us felt the need to fill up the space with unneeded small talk. Sitting in each other's presence was enough. It was all we would ever truly need; each other.

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><p><strong>Well, there it is. Yeah, I know it's not very long, but like I said, it was for school. And it was rushed. I'm not <em>that<em> amazing. Just kidding. I am. I'm actually Superman. Cause Superman is actually a girl. And I'm secretly dating Batman. Cause he's a hotty who digs alien chicks. And now I'm babbling. I'm gonna shut up. **

**Yeah, so if you'd comment telling me what you think I'd really appreciate it. (Speaking from one author to another. You know how it feels.) **

**^.^  
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**~A-O-N~  
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